The Birth Order Theory & Why It Matters

The Birth Order Theory & Why It Matters

Ever thought how your life would’ve changed if you weren’t the first, middle, last, or only child in your family?

I’d like to introduce you to the birth order theory.

This theory states that the order in which you are born in has an impact on your personality. Scientists have found contradicting evidence against one another and nothing is definite, so take this post with a grain of salt.

I do believe, however, that the birth order theory applies to MOST people, but of course there are always outliers. If you think that when you were born in relation to your siblings, and your family dynamics has nothing to do with how you’ve turned out, then keep reading.

In “The New Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are”, Dr. Kevin Leman states that there are nine important factors to consider when evaluating birth order:

  1. The number of years between children (gaps of 5 years or more result in multiple “first” borns).
  2. The sex of the child and what sequence they are born (if the two first children are opposite sexes, consider them both “first” borns).
  3. Physical, mental, and emotional differences (a child’s genetics and environment will play a part in who they are).
  4. Sibling death (likely to cause a child to move up in birth order).
  5. Adoptions (depending on the age of the adopted child, but adoptions can disrupt the current birth order system in play)
  6. Birth order of each parent.
  7. The parent’s relationship.
  8. Criticism of the parents.
  9. Blending of families (for example, step-mother/father with children get added to the family).



What Are You?



I’m a first-born myself, and its weird seeing how accurate first-born traits are to my own.

First borns spend roughly 3,000 more quality hours with their parents between the ages of 4-13 compared to the next sibling. Thus, first borns are usually parent pleasers. Typical character traits associated with first borns include consciousness, organized, reliable, structured, cautious, controlling, and achieving. Most importantly, first borns serve as leaders and role models for younger siblings.

First borns typically enter professional fields in government, IT (information technology), engineering, and science.

Fun fact: 100% of the astronauts who’ve gone into space were either first-born or eldest sons!


Since the middle child is stuck between two sibling, they are usually very good with people and socially outgoing. Most middle children are unbiased, level-headed, and have an easy-going attitude. I’ve noticed that my friends who are middle born children are very agreeable and like to avoid conflict as much as possible.

Middle borns’ most common career choices involve interaction with people, such as public services, care taking, education, construction, and law enforcement.

Interesting enough, the middle child is your best bet for a long-lasting, faithful relationship. I’ll get more into this later in the post.


The baby of the family is THE rebel. Most last born children carry the least amount of responsibilities growing up. I know, how nice. The baby in the family is usually very manipulative, self-centered, and are attention seekers.

The youngest in the family tends to gravitate towards design, art sales, writing, and information technology (jobs that are typically more creative).


And last but not least, the only child. Usually, only children are very mature for their age, since they spend a majority of their time around adults. Typical only children are very high achievers who tend to be rebellious and follow their own path. Some characteristics that were found to be repetitive with only children were: mature, perfectionist, and conscientious.

Law enforcement, IT, nursing, and engineering are the most common career paths of only children.



Relationships and Career


What intrigued me most was how your birth order could potentially affect your relationships with friends, significant others, and also your ability to succeed in life.

Unfortunately, no accurate conclusions can be drawn on birth order and friendships. I find this makes perfect sense. Looking at all the close people around me, I’m surrounded by individuals from all birth orders, but, hey, it could just be me.

One of the most consistent measures in determining success, particularly in your professional life, is an individual’s IQ. Later born children on average, tend to have a lower IQ than older children. Studies have shown that the difference in IQ between the first and second child is roughly 3 IQ points, which translates into 2% more earnings in adulthood. Not really that big of a deal.

The greatest difference in career achievement isn’t necessarily affected by what birth order you’re in, but how many children were raised in your family. Average attainment is lower for larger families (three or more children), with academic performance decreasing per child. First borns will have the highest education success, then the second, and third, and so on for large families.

You’re birth order definitely, 100%, without a doubt plays a role in your potential marriage partner. For example, the strong character traits of first borns that drive them to succeed in life are the same traits that cause them to damage close romantic relationships.

Leman states that the worst partners are of the same birth order. Two first borns will fight for power, and from experience, this is definitely the case most of the time. Two middle borns will lack communication due to avoiding conflicts and constantly confused with one another. He advises that it’s best to marry outside your birth order, and even better if you marry the opposite end of the birth order spectrum. Out of all the information gathered on birth order theory, this has been by far the most important. Just be very aware of this when entering future long term relationships. It could possible save you lots of money and more importantly future TIME!


Hope you all enjoyed this week’s odd, yet informative post! Check out Dr. Kevin Leman’s books on birth order if you want more in-depth information. I promise you won’t be disappointed! I also plan on starting a FREEEEEEE book give away via Instagram once a month! Give me a follow and stay updated!

If you’ve missed last week’s post on vitamin D deficiency, click here! As always, don’t forget to like, comment, share, or subscribe!


“Think about and meditate on things you are thankful for. More importantly, think about people you are thankful for and why.”


Book of the Month:                          “Discrimination and Disparities” by Thomas Sowell



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