The Tinder Games: How Online Dating Works and How It Effects Your Life

The Tinder Games: How Online Dating Works and How It Effects Your Life

In our first online dating post, we discussed whether online dating was an effective dating strategy!

The next post in this series reviewed educational studies and my own personal experiments using online dating apps to prove that match rates are all about what you display!

Now we’re going over how online dating works and whether online dating is worth the time and effort!

Dating Algorithms


Not too many online daters are aware of what an algorithm is or how online dating companies use algorithms to their advantage!

Stop swiping and think about it for ONE second. Online dating is a business. Online dating companies make more profit when people are single. If everyone were in a relationship and not online looking for “love” (or a hookup), then this multi-million dollar industry would come crashing down!

These companies want you desperate and single. Every new relationship formed is two potential customers lost. Knowing this, how do online dating companies ensure they make money? And the answer is………..their algorithms.

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Unfortunately, online dating companies keep most of their algorithms private and out of public view, enabling them to avoid accusations of being fraudulent. Most online dating algorithm claims are either proven through personal studies or people have put the time and effort in figuring them out. First off, most dating algorithms won’t allow you to see all your match possibilities. Sort of like the “carrot and stick” metaphor. You’ll chase and chase, but never reach what you’re looking for.

When you first create your dating profile and begin looking for matches, you’ll notice your match rate is consistent and results are pretty good. Then, it will eventually dwindle down, and about a week later it picks back up! Online dating algorithms give you just enough hope to keep you coming back for more and more!  




Photo by Jacob Ufkes on Unsplash

Dating apps were designed to be addictive.

Getting Facebook likes, Instagram comments, or Twitter retweets has the exact same dopamine/serotonin effects as getting an online dating match or message!

Dopamine and serotonin are natural bodily chemicals that provide a feeling of pleasure. This is why your mood instantly swings when you hear a phone ring or feel one vibrate!

Dating apps are no exception and just like other phone apps, become highly addictive. Online dating apps become a quick and easy temporary band-aid type solution for people suffering from depression, or sometimes just having a bad day. All one needs to do is open their dating apps on their phones for a quick ego and dopamine boost, then they’re back on top of the world!

Instead of reading, writing, eating healthy foods, or exercising to cure their depression or rainy days, they look to online dating apps to feel better which isn’t healthy or beneficial in the long run!


Wasting Your Time


Wasting Time
Photo by Veri Ivanova on Unsplash

So how much time do you really waste swiping away?

Research done by found that millennials spend up to 10 hours a week on dating apps! surveyed their 370 million users worldwide and studied 5,000 18-30-year old’s, and results included:

  • Men used dating apps 85 min/day while women were a bit lower at around 79 min/day.
  • Men logged into their dating apps 9 times per day with an average session of 9.7 minutes.
  • Women logged on more than men with an average of 10 logins per day with a lower average session time of 7.6 minutes.

10 hours per week seems like a lot of wasted time, probably because it is. If you put a dollar value on your time, it’s even more detrimental!

Using any online dollar of time calculator, you can determine how much monetary value your time has based on answers you provide for their set of quick and simple questions!

My dollar of time value was $39 per hour based on calculations from If I spend 10 hours a week on dating apps for one year, that is equivalent to roughly $21,000 worth of time LOST!

Remember this, time is always an investment that can never be recovered.


I’ve seen countless people wasting too much time swiping away looking for matches, instead of using their valuable time to better themselves. This makes absolutely no sense to me. Drop the dating apps and begin your path to self-improvement!

Hope you enjoyed this week’s online dating blog post! If you’ve missed last week’s post on the proper fitting of men’s suit jackets, blazers, and sport coats, then click here!

As always, don’t forget to comment, like, share, and subscribe!


“Quit swiping and start improving.”


Book of the Month:                       “Ordinary Men: Reserve Police Battalion 101 and the Final Solution in Poland” by Mark Manson


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